{"id":5585,"date":"2014-03-19T11:49:12","date_gmt":"2014-03-19T15:49:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.tr10023.com\/?p=5585"},"modified":"2014-04-05T22:32:00","modified_gmt":"2014-04-06T02:32:00","slug":"flash-pans-spring-2014-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.tr10023.com\/?p=5585","title":{"rendered":"Flash Pans! (Spring, 2014 Edition)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mostly Mean-Spirited One-Liners<\/em><\/span><\/h2>\n

“March of the Penguins<\/strong>” (Penguin dudes wait for eggs to hatch): The suspense is killing me<\/p>\n

\"Tell<\/a>

Eggsasperating.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

“The English Patient<\/strong>” (Burn victim remembers — long and hard): Suppuration anxiety<\/p>\n

\"Roast<\/a>

Ralph Fiennes in Boo Radley makeup: Roast and boast.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

“Philadelphia<\/strong>” (Love lies a-bleeding in City of Brotherly Love): Foreign lesions<\/p>\n

\"Tom<\/a>

Tom Hanks: Fairy shyster, dread disease;\/Weeps for Callas — Mary, please<\/span>!<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

“Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle<\/strong>” (Hot monkeyman): Jungle rot<\/p>\n

\"Monkey<\/a>

Christopher Lambert and friends: ‘Whosoever believeth in me shall have everlasting bananas.’<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

“The Exorcist<\/strong>” (Dumpy girl possessed by Devil): Also known as adolescence<\/p>\n

\"Linda<\/a>

Linda Blair: Aye-uh . . . It’s a real pea-souper.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

“Soylent Green<\/strong>” (Cheap futuristic food costs an arm and a leg): Don’t order the nuggets<\/p>\n

\"Chuck<\/a>

Soylent Green and Chuck Heston: Green yecchs and ham.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

“The Apartment<\/a><\/strong>” (Jack lends some execs\/His apartment for sex — a comedy, sort of): Flat<\/p>\n

\"MacLaine,<\/a>

Shirley MacLaine, Jack Lemmon: Chippie and dippy.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

“Tea and Sympathy<\/strong>” (Homosexuality “cured” by heavy petting): Kerr<\/a> collision<\/p>\n

\"John,<\/a>

John Kerr, Deborah Kerr; sylvan whoopie: She kindly boinks that boy one day\/So he’ll be neither sad nor gay<\/span>!<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

“Bambi<\/strong>” (Cutesy-pie fauna choke in the smoke): Crispy critters<\/p>\n

\"Live<\/a>

Live and burn.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

“Gone With the Wind<\/strong>” (Poor little slaveowners lose war, wits, tempers, chattels): Tara-bull<\/p>\n

\"Calculating<\/a>

Calculating Miss O’Hara\/Loses Rhett and lives in Tara.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mostly Mean-Spirited One-Liners “March of the Penguins” (Penguin dudes wait for eggs to hatch): The suspense is killing me “The English Patient” (Burn victim remembers — long and hard): Suppuration anxiety “Philadelphia” (Love lies a-bleeding in City of Brotherly Love): Foreign lesions “Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle” (Hot monkeyman): Jungle rot […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5585","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-main"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p40pmy-1s5","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.tr10023.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5585","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.tr10023.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.tr10023.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tr10023.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tr10023.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5585"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.tr10023.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5585\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5929,"href":"http:\/\/www.tr10023.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5585\/revisions\/5929"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.tr10023.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5585"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tr10023.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5585"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tr10023.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5585"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}