Flash Pans! (Winter, 2014 Edition)

Mostly Mean-Spirited One-Liners

Ladies in Lavender” (Cornish old darlings, dreamy German fiddler): Baguettes

Dames Judi and Maggie: Far from the Madding Kraut.

Dames Judi and Maggie: Far from the Madding Kraut.

Chicken Run” (“Stalag 17” with claymation chickens): Fowl ball

Hey Hey in the Hen House.

Hey-hey in the hen house.

The Virgin Suicides” (Teen hotties keep bumping themselves off): Croakettes

Eternal slumber party.

Girls! Girls! Girls! Girls! Eternal slumber party.

Field of Dreams” (Lad and dad baseball weepie): Corn ball

Bush league.

Bush league.

Rain Man” (Jerk kidnaps half-wit brother from nuthouse): Idiots, avaunt!

Cruise, Hoffman: Nowhere men.

Cruise, Hoffman: Nowhere men.

The Blue Lagoon” (Timorous kiddie porn): Keister Island

Blue Chris, Blue Shields

New Jersey Blue Chris Blue Shields

Les Diaboliques” (Wife and mistress plot to kill man they share): Croak monsieur

Go soak your head!

Go soak your head!

Father of the Bride” (Wedding hilarity as told by dolorous dad): Pa humbug

Taylor and Tracy: Hot 'n' Sot.

Taylor and Tracy: Hot ‘n’ Sot.

Hamlet” (Crazy Larry sulks a lot, wins awards): The Prince and the Papa

'Oh, mother, how could you?'

‘Oh, Mama, how could you?’

The Lost Weekend” (Ray Milland drinks, tilts at gin mills): Baloney on rye

Double wry, neat.

Three fingers of wry — no ice.

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